Ornery Opossum

An ornery opossum arrived at the farm a few days ago. He is ornery because he wanders around in the middle of the day, hissing at us, the mares and foals, and the barn cats. He is breaking rules and crossing unspoken boundaries. Those barriers dictate that wildlife stays away from us- and we stay away from wildlife.

There was a brief debate regarding the probability (or possibility) that this opossum was rabid. Upon close (very close) inspection, I determined that he is just stupid. Or perhaps has distemper. Regardless, the animal was given notice that he should vacate the premises. Again, he proved himself stupid by disregarding my notice.

So, I decided yesterday that stronger action must be taken. I debated the use of a firearm to evict the marsupial from my farm. I decided against such drastic measure and opted to just club him in the head instead. I armed myself with weapons from the selection of stall-cleaning tools hanging on the wall in the barn. Having most recently sited the offensive critter in the pasture with the boy yearlings (Maxim, Jude, and Hotrod), I set out to harm the animal.

I reasoned that he did not belong at the farm. Opossums are known carriers of the disease called EPM which causes devastating neurological damage to horses. And, his daytime habits coupled with his confusion also seemed out of sorts. Surely, I needed to eliminate this varmint before he exposed the horses to disease or injury.

But, alas, the opossum has proved to be a wary, wiley animal. He has eluded my clubs (and garden rake) and seems to be a master of disappearing when I go to the paddocks with tools. The opossum sightings have increased as if he is laughing at my inability to eliminate him. This is one ornery opossum.