May I have your attention, pleez? This is Ringo the Raccoon. I am the Master and Commander of all creatures who bear fur, fleece, or feathers at Feelds Quarter Horses. My mother has become distracted by mars who are supposed to be foaling so I have seezed this opportunity to speek to you.
Pleez heed my warning. There is a conspiracy afoot and I need your help to get to the bottom of it. You may have herd that the goat met her demise a few weeks ago. I have been investigating this matter and beleev that the evidence suggest that she did not die of natural causes.
If you have information which may be helpful in solving this murder case, you may contact me. All information will remain confidin, confeden, confadin- secret. Pleez call this hotline to report information about this case. 1-800-COO-NCOP.
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